I’ve finally gotten the courage to start weaning Stella. I’ve laid her down after, of course she refused the cup of milk, and we are both crying. I’m not sure who this is going to be harder for.

My husband said, this will probably be the worst withdrawal she ever goes through. This child, my never took a bottle, always and forever only mama now has to learn to adapt without mama’s breast. And mama, who probably thought she’d nurse for maybe 6 months has become a fanatic breastfeeding mama, and does not like the feeling of detachment I’m going through right now as Stella learns to nap without our ritual of a year. Will we be as close?  Will she start to forget about me, and go live her own life somewhere else?  Probably not (at least not before she’s 2), but it feels horrible.

What is prompting this, you ask, if it feels so horrible?  It just seems it’s time. Now that I work a couple days a week, it would be a lot easier on everyone if I didn’t have to run home to nurse her before her afternoon nap, or arrive to work late due to feeding her before her morning one. On the other hand, would it really be so terrible to wait until the end of the summer?  there’s only 2 more months, a mere 60 days.  Then she’ll be 15 months and surely this will be easier, right?

She eschews the cup like she did the bottle, only she’s stronger now so she can actually throw it, and does so, with force.

Hell. We’re going on vacation in 3 weeks. We can do this when we get back…